The Trials of Femininity

I woke up this morning and decided to be a hermit. The weather was still not to my liking, and there was no pressing need to go outside. So, like any true southern belle, I got out of bed and prepared for my day indoors, shut away from civilization. I straightened my hair, dressed in a casual outfit, carefully applied my make-up, and crawled right back into bed.

Oh the need to look good while doing absolutely nothing. It's one of the many trials of femininity. It goes on the list with shedding an unnatural amount of hair while trying to iron it to perfection and having to hold down your dress on a warm and windy spring day. Seriously, girls get so excited when the first warm weather comes around that we have the urge to look all cutesy and wear dresses that are ill-prepared to handle the winds of March. But do we give in? Certainly not. We wear those dresses. And spend all day with our hands clamped to our sides. All in the name of femininity. What a cause. And don't get me started with the whole hair-shedding business. I could never commit any crime for the sole reason that I would leave hundreds of strands of evidence all over the scene.

Speaking of...

Curled up in bed, scrolling through my list of things to do over break, looking for an activity that did not require me leaving the vicinity of my bed, I stumbled across the word evidence. What is it there for? Nothing came to mind. Was I supposed to find evidence to help the police solve some grisly murder? Did I have evidence that I felt compelled to turn in to the local authorities? Did I know of evidence that needed to be covered up (ahem..like maybe my hair)? Was I supposed to plant evidence to frame someone for a grisly murder? I hadn't the foggiest idea. The word evidence made the whole situation seem very pressing, but I could not for the life of me remember what I was supposed to do with the evidence.

It's tough being feminine-what with the lounging and the indecipherable lists and dresses that flap with abandon, without regard to dignity and decency and decorum.

Arielle